the little things

I am taking more time to be thankful for the little things.  The things that I normally take for granted.  I will also do my update for our family tomorrow.

I am thankful for when my baby just randomly comes up and hugs me for no reason.  she just squeezes my .  All my kids do this and it catches me off guard.

we get to see animals here that I have never seen before or have seen but not on a regular basis living in Florida.

Hannah feeding the geese

these are the pair of geese I will often see while I run in the morning.  Sometimes there is only one and he or she is usually calling for its mate.  This particular late afternoon they were right outside my backyard.  I adore them.  I also saw a redheaded woodpecker the other day.  

I am grateful for older children sleepovers.  They are getting at the age where they can be respectful to others sleeping in the house and trustworthy enough that I don't have to wonder what my house will look like when I wake up.  I can't guarantee they will be in good moods today because I have no clue how late they were up.   Three of them fell asleep on the couch and  were there with TV on from a movie when I got up at 6:30.

I am thankful for coffee and time to just sit on my porch and enjoy it. 

I am thankful for the plethora of books I get to read and yarn  I get to create into things.  The latest are these

ribbon pins.  

A lady ordered good number these in this color for her club.  

I am thankful when I ask for wisdom and discernment God gives it to me.  

I am thankful for the pet cats.  They at times make me crazy but I adore them.  I have officially declared myself as a cat person. ( I say this as a throw a paper towel roll at my cat for being on the dining room table trying to steal a pancake)

I am thankful I can go running whenever I feel like because I have a husband and children who are willing to care for the baby so I can.

I am thankful for bananas and oranges that make wonderful smoothies when mixed together

I am thankful for cute adorable picture opportunities like this one:

She loves books almost as much as me...maybe more

I am grateful for the friends and church family we have here that make me at this point comfortable enough to call Georgia my home as well.  I have come to the place that if God wanted us to stay here for many more years I would be ok with it.   Basically Florida and here are where I call home.

I am grateful for a husband and children that just bring my heart joy.  I am truly blessed and love my life.

wisdom and discernment....and a test of patience

I am now able to rejoin the world and be social.  THE CLASS IS DONE!!  I also am seeing that as I see the grades posting I did pretty good.  I do not know how being after some, if not most, the teacher has put notes on what codes I should have also used or used instead and yes I still got the question correct.  This is all fine in a school setting but not so much in a work setting when one wrong code can cost thousands of dollars.  I may feel better when I am done with this class I just started being there are computer simulations of coding and with the software I may, just may feel better about it.

I have also decided provided I can get the grants, I will pursue my AA next.  I feel I am in a place now I can do it and it will be a good accomplishment and can do it online as well.  I will only do it if through the Pell Grant.  I will NOT take out a student loan.   So with approval, I will know if that is God's plan.

As far as patience is concerned, it got tested tremendously.  Being committed to being in control of my emotions  with the children.  As I was running on Wednesday, I boldly prayed that I would be granted patience and be able to extend grace to the children.  The battle was on after that.  It has been said and I have heard "don't pray for patience.  IF you do then opportunities will present themselves to test that."   Well they were.  One of the children decided to test it and test it very very hard core.  However, I remained calm and was firm when needed.  There were consequences given and I stuck to them.  I can  say I won that battle and now that child today came to the realization that I am doing things differently and no matter what will not go back to old habits.  This is the true definition of repentance.

Forgiveness and Mercy

So today I decided to use the time while I run to also spend time praying.  Good thing I can multitask. It is hard to pray and concentrate on breathing properly.  I also ran faster.  I think the praying distracted me from realizing how fast I can run.  But I did it.  I also did not really like what God revealed to me about how I have been.  Ugh, conviction.  It is a good thing but who likes to be refined?  The process is never fun.  It hurts.  It brings things to the surface that need to be changed.  But once it is done and dealt with, there is newness.  I have neglected this area of my life for two long.  I have not spent time in prayer in a very long time.  Sure I have lifted up prayers in a drive by way.  I have acknowledged God and daily know He is there. It is kind of like the friend that you know you want and need to spend time with but let things get in the way and then wonder why you let it go in the first place.  I am committed to praying every time I run. I have been convicted on how I talk to the girls at times. I was convicted to ask forgiveness from them.  There were things revealed to me about each one that I needed specific forgiveness for.  I have expectations that I don't need to have.  I then get upset when it does not happen.  I feel I have damaged some things in my girls emotionally that can be repaired, I am hoping.  It is the tone I have used and how it has been perceived.  Each one has responded differently.  I am hoping that we can move on and build a trust again.  I know this will take some time and there will be some mistakes since new habits take time to establish but I know that with being in consistent prayer that things can be done differently.  My girls also know that I am not perfect and I love that they forgive easily.  truly forgive. as in they don't bring it back up again and don't stay mad and become resentful.   I want to strive to forgive like that every time.  I want to speak kindly and be firm if necessary but not make them feel bad about who they are as a person when they need correction.  I don't name call but it is how what I say has been said with the tone I use.  This will change.  I am so thankful for forgiveness. I am so thankful that we can have a new day everyday and leave yesterday where it is,  if we allow it.  I am so thankful that I have been convicted, can ask forgiveness, and change things instead of letting my pride get in the way and just continuing on as if things don't need to change causing irreversible damage and having a horrible relationship with my girls come the teenage and adult years.  I will choose to live in grace daily.