life

so I do not blog enough and I need to more. I have so many thoughts that go through my head all the time. I love to journal but just don't do it. I love to share what I am feeling through blogging because it is a release for me to share write what I am feeling.
well life has been crazy. I am still reading lots. I need to. It is my escape to somewhere and it does not cost a penny. Trust me, I need to escape sometimes. I plan to be more committed in my blogging and hope to bring hope and encouragement to others through some of my posts. Some you may not like because I do not think along the mainstream. I am OK with that. I am just me. What you see is what you get. I am a pretty open book and you don't get many surprises on where I stand or who I am. so with that being said, some updates for you.
Last year as many of you know, is my self proclaimed title "the year of crap" To sum it up for you marriage separation, reconcile, pregnant unplanned, miscarriage when I was starting to be excited about having another one, near divorce, reconciliation of marriage for real because of Christ, and last but not least hubby losing his job. yup it sucked. However, just when I did not think that anything could top it. Here comes 2009. But this time my attitude is way different. I have allowed Christ to be my Lord. Sure he was and is my savior. He absolutely changed lots in me and brought me out of things that should have made me end up dead somewhere, but I still had the attitude of "I am in control" I needed to go through the things I went through all last year so God could get me to the place I am today. I would not change a thing. I could not be in the place of complete trust in Him that I have today without the things that happened.
So, 2009 starts off pretty good. My husband joins the army. Something I completely support and I am so proud of My soldier. But it does come with things that are not hard. So in April he leaves for basic training and school Gone for four months. This is the most we have been separated for 10 years. This was a big adjustment for me and the kids. God gave me the strength and endurance I needed not only for me but our girls. There was only one day that was really bad and I lost control emotionally. We got through it. Around the same time Doug leaving for basic training, Our daughter Abby started throwing up. We associated it with her nerves since she is definitely Daddy's girl and does not handle major life changes well. It would come and go but it definitely progressed as the months went on. Well then last month we find out my adorable 3 year old niece Jael is diagnosed with brain cancer. WHAT? I thought.. she is only supposed to have strep throat. Not her. This happens to other people. This cant be right. Why? So much other things happening this can not be happening now. But then I realized God has a plan. She is so strong. She is so brave. She has not even gotten physically sick with the chemo. Other things are happening that still make me want to scream and stomp my feet and say this is not fair. Heal her God. Heal her now. You can. why does she have to go through all this for the next seven months? then I am reminded like Job, I am not God. He does not think the way I do. I still need to trust Him. So I do. So with this happening, created a sense of urgency that I really need to get Abby to the doctor. This throwing up thing, which now is with every meal and every drink, could be something more. I did have the fear...maybe its cancer. SO we take her to the doctor and after seeing a gastroenterologist, getting a barium scan to see how she is swallowing, then getting an endoscopy, being admitted to the hospital, then getting admitted to Arnold Palmer in Orlando for further testing, getting a manotomy(tube into the nose to the stomach then pull out cm by cm to check the peristalis all while awake), she was diagnosed with Achalasia. Yup, that's what I said acha who? Well, its not her nerves, Its food getting stuck in her esophagus because the muscles wont relax. click on it for details. So she will be getting a Heller Myotomy done to correct it. There is no cure and it could always be something she may have complications. While I was relieved slightly, I still was like what? oh cmon...don't we have enough going on with Jael and moving to GA. oh yeah..I forgot to mention that. we are moving out of state, the place I have lived for 26 years. The same town. My parents still live in the same house. I know how to get around race week like it is not race week. I have my whole entire life there. I will now be officially calling a place that I do not know anybody home. Yet God is still faithful and awesome. He still has a plan. I still serve Him. I still trust him completely in all of this. He has showed me through this that he is blessing me. We have great neighbors that I know we will be good friends with. we have found a new church that we compare a lot to the one we have been going to for nine years. He has given us the opportunity for us to be able to share Christ with our neighbors. He has a purpose and maybe his purpose is for us to lead them to Christ. Imagine what an opportunity for us. and yet I think I cant believe He would choose us for that.
People are watching us and we are told that we have been an encouragement to others. I am truly blessed because they are the ones encouraging me. To keep going, to keep fighting, to not lose faith. Think about, what if God is saying to Satan "have you considered my servant...." to our family? Knowing how we will stand no matter what comes our way. I am humbled if that is so. I also know that if i need to go through the trials to keep me in his word and dependence on Him then so be it. Not that I am inviting the trials to come, but will consider it joy if it keeps me growing in this walk with Christ


by the way Achalasia is very rare like 10 in 100,000 people and mostly middle aged. Even rarer in children. Only rare in other families...in ours things like this are just normal ;)

3 reviews

so, i have been a major slacker in the blogging world and would really like to prioritize and be committed to doing so daily. I have read three books that I need to blog on, along with what has been going on in my life. I will for now just blog on the books I have read.

the first: Even Now by Karen Kingsbury This was purely just for fun. Karen Kingsbury is great for good christian romance when you are in the mood for romance, but don't want the Harlequin crappiness. This book was plain just feel good fun. It also had good lessons on forgiveness and how we should let God be in control and not try to get in the way of His plans. She never lets me down with any of her writings. I am a romantic deep down. This book was not sappy, fake nonsense. You could actually see something like this happening in real life. Her characters are aways relateable and you fell like you are living their life right their with them. I guess that is why I like her books so much.

the second: The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis This was an easy fast read. However, it is not for light hearted reading. It will make you think. It will make you think about your loved ones around you who are so consumed with their life here or those that think that they are better than the person next to them. When it comes to us as people one is not better than another in God's eyes. He loves us all equally the same and he hates sin equally the same. One sin is not worse than another. Sin is sin no matter how you or look at it. God does not work at this earthly level but a whole other plane. His though ts are not our thoughts and His was are higher than our ways. He, praise God, is all about grace. Realizing who we are without Jesus is what makes us acceptable. This may not sit well with some of you reading this, however, I did not say it God did. I really like books that get my mind thinking and anything by C.S. Lewis will do that.

the third: Little Altars Everywhere by Rebecca Wells This was also just purely "I just felt like reading it" I love anything about the deep South. However, it makes me grateful for the family I have and was raised in. I really love southern traditions, the pride the people have, the laid back life style, the food ( oh do I love the food) the accents, and the weather. However, this book just hows that life anywhere is not perfect and that problems exist everywhere.

more to blog later...maybe even tonight.

Angels and Demons

Angels and Demons synopsis

I know, I know it has been SO long since I have posted but it has been that long to finish the book. Not the norm for me....but then again my life is far from normal these days....that's a post for another time. With that being said...I am committed to posting more regularly even if it is not about a book.

This book was good yet very, very, very controversial. I wanted to read it just to see what the controversy was all about it. First, let me just say. I REALIZE THIS BOOK IS FICTION. There is, what I believe, a lot in here that makes the Catholic Church look bad. I was raised Catholic and today, there are a few things doctrinally that I don't agree with. That is why I go to a different church. However, I don't like to see any church being portrayed in a negative way that would make people question whether they should follow Jesus or not. I still was very saddened over how the Vatican is portrayed in this. Before you even get started reading there is a whole page dedicated to the factual references in the book of what is actually real. Being the realist that I am, I took it with a grain of salt and said to myself "yeah yeah...I will look into that on my own later" However, not everybody has common sense like myself and will believe everything they read, even if it is fiction, just because there is a disclaimer on some facts about what is in the book. I am not sure if the author, Dan Brown, has something against the Catholic church and Christianity in general, but it just seems that way from the this book and his other one "The Davinci Code"which I did not read, but saw the movie. While very suspenseful just pissed me off. These days I don't feel like being that angry so I refuse to read the book. There are also some parts about the creation of something completely new....that would reference that God is just some feeble being that sits in the background...Which if you read the Bible (author GOD) then you will soon find that is not true in any shape or form. There are parts where the author makes it sound good and possible and then refers back to it being God is in control and that Science and Christianity can co exist together and skip through the flowers, hug trees, and play the tambourine (OK that is my sarcasm and humor coming through) DUH, God created science..therefore of course they can coexist together and not be separate.

Anyway, if you can get past all of that. There is a lot of suspense and makes your mind wonder who is the master mind behind all the crimes. To me, it was somewhat predictable in parts and others I did not see coming. (which I really like because when it comes to suspense I don't like my expectations of how it is going to end, end up being the way that it does end.)

I do not recommend this book if you have a bad taste for Christianity or the Catholic Church. Or, if you are new to the faith because Satan could play with your head and make you question if what God says is actually true. It really also depends on your personality. I will admit there were fleeting moments of "hmm, well maybe.." I quickly just reminded myself of His Word, and His Truth...which is the only truth that matters. Others, may not be so quick to do so and that makes me sad that Dan Brown's books might actually keep people from seeing Jesus as who He really is.