Thursday, May 31, 2012

    So I am doing this thing.  It will challenge and grow me.  I need it so I am doing it.  I have never read through the bible before but I am doing it now, this way.    MY kids will be too they just don't know it yet.  However, not in 90 days for them.  they will just be reading the Bible daily.                                              Unless I make sure that they are reading God's word how else are they going to know what God's plan is for all of us?   So since we will be taking the summer off this year for the first time ever this is a good time for me to do something like this before the madness of me being a full time college student starts in August.  I will surely need some spiritual fuel to get me through that.  There is a Facebook page but for now I will not be on that.  I have asked to join but only for this challenge purpose.  Until I hear that God says it is OK for me to be back on there I will.  I have cheated on my no Facebook commitment here and there due to curiosities and mostly me wanting to do mindless wandering so I don't have to think about the things God is dealing with me on.  This was a revelation to me last night so I am committed to staying off for now.  I have sought forgiveness in going against something God does not want me doing for now.  I have received his Grace and Mercy.  I am thankful for it.  So God has put it on my heart that first thing in the morning is my Internet time.  This is the time to read the blogs, write the blog, catch up on the news, and check the email.  The only other time will be for my schoolwork and getting my recipes for dinner.  There will be no mindless searching during those times.  There are other things I can do better use of my time while waiting for meals to cook or pages to load.  SO for now i sit with my coffee.  Take in daily readings.  Breathe in God's word, and enjoy the worship music I will soon be playing.

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

so many thoughts

I have so many thoughts.  so many things I want to write about but I have no idea how to put them altogether.  there are many things I want to express my opinion on,  some controversial.  I just need to find the time to do it, and do it right.  I want my blog to have more depth.  I want it to be a place where people can come and feel encouraged and see perspective they may not have thought of.  I also want it to be a place where people find laughter and silliness.  I want it to be a place of ideas shared.  I want it to be real.  so it will be.....

so today's posts will be on  "aha moments"  those moments and things that make you go " a ha"  that makes sense.  I should have thought of that.

I have a bible app on my phone.  I adore it.  I can read my bible anywhere, anytime.  I am currently doing a read through the bible chronological plan.  I would say I am doing it in a year but that is realistically not happening,  I am getting better in reading it but not everyday like I want.  the beauty of this app is it will catch me up where I left off.

Borax is amazing.  I used it to see how well it cleaned my tubs.  FAN FLIPPIN TASTIC.  nothing else I have tried as done as amazing as this. sprinkle on tub and use a scrub sponge, beautiful white cleanliness.

I am not at this time going to train for a marathon or any other race. I have come to the place that the time frame I run in is about all my schedule will allow.  I may try to train for a 10k but i need to drop a few more pounds before that.  seriously, go try running with a 40 pound dead weight child on your back and let me know how that works for ya.  I have decided to run everyday and when I am in a different place I will train and run the Disney 1/2 marathon.

My day goes amazingly better when I start off with prayer and bible reading.  I don't know why I forget this.  I also get a better understanding as why we as people are referred to as sheep when I forget these things.  I want to live daily in peace and the holy spirit just overflowing out of me. I want to be refined even though the process is painful.  I have sins I am dealing with that God is working out of me.  Thankfully I want to let Him. Lots of testing going on to overcome them.

I am just content with the plan God has for me.  I am just along for the ride.   I love the life I live and doing everything I do.  I am at a place where I look at things that other people have and think I am good with what we have unless God decides to give us more. I will be honest, a nice boat for the family and a cabin in the mountains would be nice to have.  However, when God says the time is right.  This also does not mean that I think it will just fall into our laps.  These things take saving and commitment to get them. I just want to do it right. I even want to get rid of more things.  I want to become more like a minimalist.   I hate lots of things.  However, this is just for me.  The husband has no desire to be a minimalist and if reading this may have a heart attack at the thought of him getting rid of things.  His stuff I leave alone.  This is for me.  I do not expect anybody else to follow along. Thankfully I have one child that already is naturally..  I already don't have a lot of things.  There are two areas in particular that I know I need to go through.  The toy boxes and books.  I am not quite sure why my children need 20 Barbies that they don't play with,  baby toys, just in case she decides to play with them, 30 coloring books that never get used, and books that will never get read.  I want to get rid of the dilapidated book case and have one toy box. Books will be the hardest for me to go through.  But I will donate them to the library so it will make me feel better.   I think there will some dedication to minimalist living coming in this blog.

Friday, May 25, 2012

kennedy shananigans

oh the update.  the supposed to be weekly update that has been neglected.  so here it is.

Janessa: doing so much better with her school work.  She wrote a report on Crocodiles and I must say I was very impressed.  Not much needed to be corrected with it and it flowed nicely.  She makes me proud.  Very independent and content with life

Abby:  doing great.  she is my social butterfly and is never home.  She is constantly playing with friends.  Friends I love.  I am forever grateful for her good judgement in who she hangs out with.

Hannah:  sleepover with two friends tonight.  popcorn, movies, and ice-cream cones cakes.  fun stuff.

Not much to update with them.  we all have end of year itis and want the school year to be done.

Charlotte:  this is where the most updates happen because she is constantly doing new things.  At eighteen months she is talking immensely.  Her newest saying is "i did that"  to whatever she did. good or bad.  throws her food off the tray 'i did dat", puts her shoe on " I did dat", turns the channel on the TV "i did dat"  She also likes to inform us that anything yucky is gross or as she pronounces it "grow"  because she cant do the s yet.  especially her diapers.  and then will say stinky and wave her hand in front of her face.  She told me yesterday when she did a stinky in her diaper by saying gross, waving her hand and "i did dat"    She is constantly cracking me up.

Doug:  chugging along.  has been dealing with some viral strep infection type thing.  not fun.  doing good otherwise.

ME:  taking the final exam for Medical coding I today and then will be moving on to Medical Coding II.  then there is one more class after on Career exploration but that will be like a vacation compared to this nonsense I have been taking.  i am now registered and will be a student at Central Texas College.  I take the placement test Tuesday to see what English and math classes I am taking.  English will be fine.  Math will be disastrous.  I have not done algebra for years so I know I will need to take a remedial math class first.  I am OK with it.  I got the grant and will have everything paid for including books.  I will be taking four classes.  It will take me about 2.5 years to be done.  Fine with me.  I love that everything will be online.  I will be very anti-social come August during the week.   I also sprained my toe.  I kicked a cement block three days ago on accident but it is doing much better.  (I wish I could say I was doing awesome ninja moves instead.)  I learned that most sprains happen with the big toe but I am not most people and sprained the toe next to my pinky.  of course this is not an official doctor diagnosis, just going by past experience. I have been depressed I have not been able to run the past couple days because having shoes on hurt.  Today it looks better and  I may attempt putting my sneakers on and hitting the pavement.  Not running for a couple days has made me not be in the best mood.  I don't like being cranky from lack of running and neither does anybody else around me.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

getting out of complacency

 I am always amazed that when I spend daily time with God after not doing so for long periods of time that He starts purging things out of me.  He starts refining me.  The process is not fun but it is freeing.  I never fully walk away I just get in this place of "OK God that is close enough.  I am good now.  things are good.  no more changes necessary."  It is when I get there that I stop spending in depth time in prayer and in depth time in my Bible.  It is also then that I wonder why I am not content and chase after things that don't matter.  It is then that I wonder why my kids are not in a close relationship with Him either.  We get complacent. I don't like being complacent but at the same time there are things I want to hold on to.  There are things I don't want to change.  I am stubborn.  But when I open my hands and say God do what you need to it is so freeing.  I am currently working on the 12 steps for AA.  Disclaimer: every single person should do them, seriously.  It is not just for alcoholics or people who live with alcoholics (Alanon) They can be applied to every life situation.  I at first thought.  the twelve steps don't apply to me.  I am not the problem.  guess what? I got my own problems that need to be fixed.  another disclaimer: I am not an alcoholic. I am a part of Alanon.

Here are the  12 steps.  change the word alcohol to whatever applies. (food, anger, enabler. etc etc etc)  

The first three steps were easy.  Well step one was when I was able to come to that place that I have no power over the alcoholic in my life.  that took years but when I started these i already had realized that.

two and three: these were done back in a day of October 1997.  Jesus Christ made those two happen.

I am now on four.  I have fought for three weeks doing this.  I don't want to think about things that I have not dealt with or think about things that I need to change or think about hurts I have caused others.  Because again I like to revert back to " I am not the one with the problem."   However I started it last night.  It is freeing  to do.  I felt a weight lifted after doing it that I did not know was there  I am not done but it is a start.  I am working it a couple things at a time.  Step 4 is pretty detailed.    I believe once it is complete and once I am completely done with the twelve steps that a lot of the anger I have hidden and carried, that sometimes comes out when it is too much, will be gone.  I believe I will be more in control of my emotions.  I will come to the place of not having to look like" the strong one and holding it all together for the sake of all around me."   I will be free.  I will be at peace.  I will be more like Christ and that is what is most important.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Birthday child

so somehow unbelieveably this child:

Hannah Grace Kennedy

turned nine today.  This child was not planned.  This child was a "we can make it two more months without birth control"  Instead God said "My plan is better."  I, of course, stared at the pregnancy test saying "please say no, please say no.  followed by dang it."   to which I called my husband and said sit down and told him.  All he could do for the next half hour was say to our dear friends Kenny and Vicky, "Tory is pregnant."  The thing is; I still had a baby at home, a 13 month old and a two year old.  However, after the shock wore off we were ecstatic.

This child made me crave a food I loathed, tomatoes and had to have them a lot.  I now love them almost as much as I love her.

She is my funny one.  She is the type of personality I wish I had more of.  So laid back.  So caring.  So full of life.  Everything she does brings her joy.  She forgives the way we all should.  She never brings up old things that were done wrong to her and will leave it in the past where it belongs.

She is my only child that does not know what an elementary classroom is like or what homework is.

She is my child that needs to know the whys to everything and the what ifs to every single scenario of life.  She is shy and quiet until she is comfortable with you and then if she is alone without her sisters will talk non stop.  She is confident and strong.  She can not be pushed around.  She loves life.

She is Hannah Grace, but not graceful.  She is the only child I know who can fall out of chairs at random times and jump up and say "I am OK."   She hates writing but is good at it.  Her imagination is incredible.

She is the only child I know that has a best friend from when she was a baby.  Their connection is unique and like none I have ever seen.  They would call for each other at the church nursery as soon as we entered the building.  They were inseparable until we moved and when we visit I never see her because she practically moves in with her family.

Hannah and Trinity at two

She has brought us such joy.  Such laughter.  I can't imagine a day without her.  It also freaks me out that I know exactly what Charlotte will look like as I look at pictures.
Hannah on the day she got baptized

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

few words

I have few words today.  No reason.  just in lots of reflection today on what God wants from me.  What does he want me to do.  How does he want me to serve? Is what I am doing enough?  Does he want me to do more of some things, less of others/.  Are there things he wants me to do that I have never done or do that I have not done in a long while.  I know the answer to all these questions....YES.  there are things I know he wants me to do and out of selfishness and not wanting to be hurt, I don't.  some is pure selfishness.  Some is no clear direction or definite answer yet.  Some things, especially one in particular I know is yes, but the timing has just not been right.    I asked for wisdom and honest opinions on something today and was encouraged and reaffirmed that there is one thing I am supposed to do and have put it off out of  fear and doubts.  I questioned if I am supposed to use my talents in a certain way and for years, and I mean years, God has been slowly nudging me to do it.  Now the timing for it just has to happen and it will.  I just patiently wait for the door to open and those of you that know me know patience is not one of my strong points.  So in the meantime i just leave you with this which is one of my favorite songs and where I am at today

Monday, May 14, 2012

this and that

I have not much excitement going on.  My Mother's Day was uneventful.  Well,sort of.  I spent the day in bed. Why?  Because I scratched my cornea taking my contacts out Saturday night.  TO ALL READING THIS: Yes, I take them out nightly.  I have done this before and the pain is always the same.  Excruciating.  I got to sleep a lot.  I got to do nothing which was my plan from the get go. It just would have been nice to not look like  I was crying constantly and having to shut my eye if I had it open for longer than five minutes and not be like a vampire screaming "It burns it burns" when stepping outside.  All is healed now.  I did get a nice present from the children.  Best Mother's Day present ever, seriously, it is my favorite by far.

flower pots with real flowers from the elder girls

I got an A in  my evil Medical coding class.  GO ME!!  Now just to finish up this current one and finish up our last month of official school for the girls.  June 11th is the last day for over two months.  Of course, the two older ones have language arts and math they need to finish but that takes no structure and plans from me.  I am so looking forward to a summer break.  Something we have never done and will see how it goes this year.  We will not be using the pool on post this year because the people that run it decided to raise the price to 120.00 for a family pass for one pool, five days a week.  We would not use that much for it to be worth it.  WE will make some trips to the beach and use friends pools instead.  I foresee them lowering the price for next year.  I can't imagine too many people paying that.

Here is what my baby decided to do today with her diapers and herself:

taken out of the changing table and lined up across the floor

packing herself and a couple diapers in a box

Apparently, she wants to go with Daddy to the field and also with there being a seven year age span between her and Hannah she has taken on first born type A tendencies by lining her diapers up in perfect lines across the floor.  whatever entertains her so I can make dinner.....and can make me laugh when the husband is getting ready to go to the field and his army closet has basically thrown up into my front room

Saturday, May 12, 2012

the little things

I am taking more time to be thankful for the little things.  The things that I normally take for granted.  I will also do my update for our family tomorrow.

I am thankful for when my baby just randomly comes up and hugs me for no reason.  she just squeezes my .  All my kids do this and it catches me off guard.

we get to see animals here that I have never seen before or have seen but not on a regular basis living in Florida.

Hannah feeding the geese

these are the pair of geese I will often see while I run in the morning.  Sometimes there is only one and he or she is usually calling for its mate.  This particular late afternoon they were right outside my backyard.  I adore them.  I also saw a redheaded woodpecker the other day.  

I am grateful for older children sleepovers.  They are getting at the age where they can be respectful to others sleeping in the house and trustworthy enough that I don't have to wonder what my house will look like when I wake up.  I can't guarantee they will be in good moods today because I have no clue how late they were up.   Three of them fell asleep on the couch and  were there with TV on from a movie when I got up at 6:30.

I am thankful for coffee and time to just sit on my porch and enjoy it. 

I am thankful for the plethora of books I get to read and yarn  I get to create into things.  The latest are these

ribbon pins.  

A lady ordered good number these in this color for her club.  

I am thankful when I ask for wisdom and discernment God gives it to me.  

I am thankful for the pet cats.  They at times make me crazy but I adore them.  I have officially declared myself as a cat person. ( I say this as a throw a paper towel roll at my cat for being on the dining room table trying to steal a pancake)

I am thankful I can go running whenever I feel like because I have a husband and children who are willing to care for the baby so I can.

I am thankful for bananas and oranges that make wonderful smoothies when mixed together

I am thankful for cute adorable picture opportunities like this one:

She loves books almost as much as me...maybe more

I am grateful for the friends and church family we have here that make me at this point comfortable enough to call Georgia my home as well.  I have come to the place that if God wanted us to stay here for many more years I would be ok with it.   Basically Florida and here are where I call home.

I am grateful for a husband and children that just bring my heart joy.  I am truly blessed and love my life.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

wisdom and discernment....and a test of patience

I am now able to rejoin the world and be social.  THE CLASS IS DONE!!  I also am seeing that as I see the grades posting I did pretty good.  I do not know how being after some, if not most, the teacher has put notes on what codes I should have also used or used instead and yes I still got the question correct.  This is all fine in a school setting but not so much in a work setting when one wrong code can cost thousands of dollars.  I may feel better when I am done with this class I just started being there are computer simulations of coding and with the software I may, just may feel better about it.

I have also decided provided I can get the grants, I will pursue my AA next.  I feel I am in a place now I can do it and it will be a good accomplishment and can do it online as well.  I will only do it if through the Pell Grant.  I will NOT take out a student loan.   So with approval, I will know if that is God's plan.

As far as patience is concerned, it got tested tremendously.  Being committed to being in control of my emotions  with the children.  As I was running on Wednesday, I boldly prayed that I would be granted patience and be able to extend grace to the children.  The battle was on after that.  It has been said and I have heard "don't pray for patience.  IF you do then opportunities will present themselves to test that."   Well they were.  One of the children decided to test it and test it very very hard core.  However, I remained calm and was firm when needed.  There were consequences given and I stuck to them.  I can  say I won that battle and now that child today came to the realization that I am doing things differently and no matter what will not go back to old habits.  This is the true definition of repentance.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Forgiveness and Mercy

So today I decided to use the time while I run to also spend time praying.  Good thing I can multitask. It is hard to pray and concentrate on breathing properly.  I also ran faster.  I think the praying distracted me from realizing how fast I can run.  But I did it.  I also did not really like what God revealed to me about how I have been.  Ugh, conviction.  It is a good thing but who likes to be refined?  The process is never fun.  It hurts.  It brings things to the surface that need to be changed.  But once it is done and dealt with, there is newness.  I have neglected this area of my life for two long.  I have not spent time in prayer in a very long time.  Sure I have lifted up prayers in a drive by way.  I have acknowledged God and daily know He is there. It is kind of like the friend that you know you want and need to spend time with but let things get in the way and then wonder why you let it go in the first place.  I am committed to praying every time I run. I have been convicted on how I talk to the girls at times. I was convicted to ask forgiveness from them.  There were things revealed to me about each one that I needed specific forgiveness for.  I have expectations that I don't need to have.  I then get upset when it does not happen.  I feel I have damaged some things in my girls emotionally that can be repaired, I am hoping.  It is the tone I have used and how it has been perceived.  Each one has responded differently.  I am hoping that we can move on and build a trust again.  I know this will take some time and there will be some mistakes since new habits take time to establish but I know that with being in consistent prayer that things can be done differently.  My girls also know that I am not perfect and I love that they forgive easily.  truly forgive. as in they don't bring it back up again and don't stay mad and become resentful.   I want to strive to forgive like that every time.  I want to speak kindly and be firm if necessary but not make them feel bad about who they are as a person when they need correction.  I don't name call but it is how what I say has been said with the tone I use.  This will change.  I am so thankful for forgiveness. I am so thankful that we can have a new day everyday and leave yesterday where it is,  if we allow it.  I am so thankful that I have been convicted, can ask forgiveness, and change things instead of letting my pride get in the way and just continuing on as if things don't need to change causing irreversible damage and having a horrible relationship with my girls come the teenage and adult years.  I will choose to live in grace daily.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

things that come from the underworld

If you want to ask what the underworld is like, I am pretty sure it is having to do medical coding for eternity.  OK that is completely sarcastic because I would rather do medical coding for eternity than be separated from God, but I digress.  This class is torture.  I will be anti social for the next three days.  I have two more assignments and a final exam.  This last assignment I just did today, I started at 5:30 in the evening and just got done 15 minutes ago.  Granted I had a baby that was distracting me who wanted to eat, needed a diaper change, needed a bath, needed to be made sure she did not jump off the couch, literally, but it seriously was ridiculous.  I don't understand the need for a thirty question assignment to code things and give me details that have nothing to do with what I am coding.  A ten to fifteen question assignment I think is plenty to know if I understand what I am doing.   This is why I will be anti-social until Thursday.  I will need all day to do the assignments and take the final exam.  I am thankful for my crock pot.  I am thankful for a husband who will help so I can answer questions without interruption.  I also know as I do every assignment that there is no way on this planet I will do this as a job.  I will be miserable. This in turn will make everybody around me miserable and  the last thing my husband needs is a contentious wife.  I did not plan to work after anyway because I do not feel that calling from God in any shape or form.  I know I am called to be home.  I know I am called to home school the children.  I have peace and contentment about my life now (except for this class obviously but I know that is ending this week.) I would not want to do anything else in the world.  I get such joy and a sense of fulfillment of being the wife and mom that God is calling ME to be.  This is about me not others, to clarify.    Not everybody is called to stay home.  I however, have no doubt, that I am.  I have a great mission field I deal with on a daily basis.  It is challenging and I adore it.  so why, you may ask do I go to school?

1. The husband asked.  HE wanted me to make sure I had something in case something happened.  HE is a soldier,  HE gets deployed.  Things can happen.  It is just reality.

2.  \It is paid for by the Army.  I should take advantage of that scholarship for spouses.

However, the certificate will probably just mean I accomplished the requirements and could do it if I wanted to.  There is a certification I would have to do and I am not going to do it.  This is because it will only be good if I were actually going to get a job and being I am not I would have to get re certified because they change some of the codes yearly. I don't need the stress.

So I will consider changing my "career goal" to something I would enjoy doing like pharmacy technician.  Then again I may just ramp up the crocheting.  That I really enjoy doing and would really love to do that as a job.  We will just have to see what God has in store

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Kennedy family weekly shaningans update

So I have decided to do a weekly update on what is going on in our household since most I keep up with think we disappeared since I am not on Facebook.   I plan to do this every Friday.  However, yesterday was crazy so it did not happen

let's start with the children:  We are in our last month of school.  I have decided to not open the new curriculum because we will be taking almost three months off and it will be pointless to try and pick up where we left off.   They are progressing well but there will be some summer finishing of math and language arts books if they don't finish them.  yup, the older two may have summer school.  consequence of procrastinating and not doing it the way they should.  We will enjoy field trips, vacations, exploring parks, and swimming

Janessa:  not much for excitement.  She is in that " I will be thirteen soon."  mode.  yikes.  She has finished up Awana this week and around here will be graduated from the program.  She will help out next year.  We also have discovered that she has been overplaying the "I have ADHD card" and discipline comes from Daddy now.  Amazing how efficient and correct her work gets done when "the principal: gets involved.  (WE have officially named Daddy as principal of the home school academy.  She played soccer and did well.  their team came in first place. NO sports for the summer but come Fall will play soccer again. She is growing like a weed and may soon be taller than me .  I am 5'5" but tall runs on both sides.  we also will dress her in burkas for the pool. ( or Daddy will just clean his shotgun, whichever is more effective)

Abby:  Finished up gymnastics.  We have had to make the decision to stop that for various reasons.  She will play soccer in the Fall as well or another sport like volleyball.  I will see what she is interested in.   Her Achalasia is under control provided she is gluten free completely.  She cheats, she suffers the consequence of throwing up from esophageal spasms.  She also is done with Awana for the year.  She is doing great in her school work.  She is often asked to help her friend with her math which makes Abby feel very smart (This also helps my confidence as her teacher)  She runs a side business of walking dogs. She does it for fun but people give her money for it.

Hannah:  she played soccer for the first time this season and finished that up.  Her team came in second.  She did well.  Slightly afraid the ball will hit her in the face due to that happening the first game but towards the end got more aggressive.  Soccer is on the agenda for Fall.  She is also done for Awana for the year.  She is eagerly looking forward to her birthday in a few weeks and reminds me everyday how many days until it is.  She has a pet guinea pig and loves to play outside with her friends.

Charlotte:  Learning how to express herself very well.  Will actually say no if she does not want something, in her cute way.  She also will say no in a mean way if she does want to share her toys.  She loves bubbles and jumping.   She also loves to be outside and yell at all the dogs.  She is getting a couple new teeth which is cause for some extra crankiness but not so bad.  She loves books.  She will pretend to read and  also loves to be read to.  Currently, "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom"  is her favorite. She does sign language for a few words but also says the word.  She says all her sisters names  Janessa: "duh duh"  Abby "babby" Hannah "naanuh"  She also is very expressive with the words cup and  cheese cup is said very loud and pronounces "COP" very long and  drawn out.  cheese is said very loud as well with squinting her eyes.  She also is starting to let me know when she needs a diaper change by saying "googy" I do not know exactly what that word is.  I ti s not yucky because she "ucky" for that.  she does not like her hands to be dirty.  She loves Elmo or as she says "melmo"  She still takes two naps a day

Doug and I: doing well.  busy with our crazy lives.  His work schedule is crazy.  Army life.  He also has a bible study and AA meetings he attends regularly.   He has a boat and takes it out often to go fishing.  He is content.  I am meeting with my Alanon sponsor weekly and  will be attending Alanon meetings.  they are sporadic here.  I am finishing up my current class and will be moving into my final one.  (praise Jesus)   I am getting to attend bible study finally because there are no sports games to go to and it is on Saturday mornings.  I have crochet projects I am working on.  I am still running, now five days a week.  WE had a date last night to see the Avengers but it was sold out.  We live in a small town that has one movie theatre unless you want to drive to the drive in about a half hour away to Savannah which is about an hour.  WE came home and watched a movie on TV.  Well he did, I fell asleep.  We will probably after our Coldstone Creamery date tomorrow at some point.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

new mercies

Today is over.  Well almost over.  Grey's Anatomy is on and then I close my eyes and  will wake up to a new day.  I will leave it and all fears, hang ups, thoughts, and the day in the past and start fresh. I love that every day starts new.  I love that I have a new fresh perspective.  This internet fast has caused me to deal with things I have needed to deal with and  do differently.  Some starts tomorrow.  Most will start on Monday.

Tomorrow starts with new eating habits.  What I am doing is not working. I feel sluggish.  I need to eat more smaller meals and be very consistent in counting calories.  I want to stick with a more natural approach as much as I can.  This will help with my attitude and energy level.  This will also make me like my scale again.  as much as I run I should be seeing a difference there.  I have a sugar addiction and tend to overindulge in that area.  I just need to be committed and stick to it

Monday starts a new school routine and getting into some of next years curriculum.  science and social studies. I need  the structure that the Abeka curriculum provides for all our sanity.  The social studies we have been doing is just not at their level and some of it is a little difficult to navigate for them at times.  Science has been through Netflix.  while this is good tool and they learn it is just not how I want them to learn science.  We will also be on more of time schedule.  this way everything gets done and we don't skip subjects because we ran out of time

I will also be getting myself up early to run and start my day. This means I will have to force myself to go to bed earlier.  This is hard for me because that time at night is my me time, just me.  no responsibilities and nothing to think about it.  I will just have to take me time in the morning instead.  This means getting up 5:30 early.  I am hoping in time I will like it.  Let me clarify the baby is NOT left by herself while I run.

New mercies and New plans.  oh the things that make my heart happy

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

toddlers to teens

So as most know I hate the three year old stage.  I would gladly take that then the preteen hormonal nonsense I dealing with at the moment.  I have two children who are currently testing the boundaries and battling the wills.  I, however, am fully armed.  I am currently in a battle of respect and obedience.  This is a battle I will win.  The process is not fun but I can already see a difference in attitudes.  Many times I have allowed my children to earn back privileges and this has mostly failed. That failure is not setting them up for real life and  could lead to a dangerous road of teenage crazy madness.  I am sticking to the consequences.  My husband is supportive.  They know I am serious.  This also applies to my spiritual life.  God has extended me grace many many times.  HE forgives and at times has removed consequences.  Then there are times he hasn't. The consequences cause me to repent and become more like Him.  My children's consequences will mold them into responsible adults who don't feel a sense of entitlement like so many children do today.  It is my job to ensure they become that way.  This means I am not their friend at the moment.  This means there are days I am exhausted and frustrated, but I press on.  This means that this is only for a season and we will come out of it, better than we were.  I also get the and pleasure of doing it again two more times but better equipped of what works and what doesn't.  I already do things much differently  with the baby than I did before.  Some things she does I don't get upset about because I realize it is the age.  I am more consistent with doing what I say I will. A prime example is she likes to sit on the couch to watch Elmo or as she says " melmo".  She tests the boundaries by standing.  I tell her no, she must sit.  She continues to get up with the mischievous look.  She is told to sit, or she will not be allowed on the couch.  She sits and then mischievously looks at me and stands. She is promptly taken off the couch.  With the others I would constantly warn and  not follow through which is why we are dealing with what I am dealing with today. Granted, it is not nanny 911 worthy.  Watching that show always makes me feel better about my parenting skills. It is a learning experience for all of us.  We are all passing the test, which is what matters.