Thursday, October 15, 2009

solving a problem through wisdom

so I have been praying for wisdom in more ways to be effective in disciplining and getting the girls to do their chores.  the bible says if we ask for wisdom, we will get it.  I also think that we need to be willing to become humble to actually listen, to know what the wisdom is.  It may be what we do not want to hear or what we are not willing to do because of pride.  So with that being said:

My kids will earn an allowance through chores.  I have listened to lots of feedback.  Some say it is not good to pay kids for things they should already be doing.  Here are my thoughts.  Chores are work.  When we go to work as adults,  we get a paycheck.  Based on our performance and more responsibility, we get a raise.  I believe it is a good way to teach children good work ethics.   AKA: that you do not get money just because or that you can just be lazy and expect the same as everybody else.

Each of my children are different ages so each one will have a different amount of allowance.   This being because the older they get, the more they can do, and should be rewarded for such.   With that being said, they will each have a chore chart based on a points system.

They get one point for each chore.   Each child has 7 chores.  (the chores range from brushing hair and teeth to doing laundry and washing dishes)  they get one point for each chore done completely, 1/2 a point for each chore done partly, no points if it does not get done at all or when I ask them to.  They will get two points if they do each chore without me having to ask or remind them.  they will get 7-14 points total per day. 
49 points gets them their full earned allowance
25-49 points gets them half their allowance
16-25 gets them 1/3 of their allowance
0-16 equals no allowance

if they earn 75-98 (10 -14 points per day) points they will get an extra special privelege as well
some things are 30 min later bedtime on the weekends, prize from the treasure box, be able to ride bike further up the street, or special outing with mommy or Daddy.  they can pick one special privelege a week.  They have to earn the full 98 points to do so.  (the 75-98 points is them doing most of their chores everyday without me having to ask)  Each special privelege will have a point value attached to it.  They will start fresh each week.  I will not be allowing carry overs or stashing points.  This will prevent the thought process  of "well I earned this much this week, so I only need to earn this much this week."

Now I need to get a treasure box and find some great thrift stores, Big lots, and clearance racks to fill it with.  This will also give me more freedom throughout the day to do things I have not been able to because I am doing all the cleaning.   This is my reward for years of raising youg children and molding them into what God wants them to be.  Parenting is hard.  It does get easier the older they get, but you get different challenges along the way.  I never believed it would get easier with three toddlers/babies.  But I can testify, it does. 

link for chore chart
link for chore chart

Monday, October 12, 2009

my thoughts

my journal entry from Fat Secret:

I grew up as one of those kids who never had to worry about gaining weight. I could eat whatever and whenever. Then I had some life issues happen in my twenties where I was searching for what would satisfy me. Little did I know that the answer was right there knocking at my door, I just refused to open it to Jesus. So I turned to drugs, alcohol, and boys. I also was smoking cigarettes at the time. Well, when I gave my life to Christ I gave up all those things but instead of focusing on Him to meet my needs I turned to food. I ate all the time. This caused me to gain about 3o pounds. Then when I got married, I had kids I gained the 30 pounds you need to gain while pregnant but never lost it with any of my three children. It was not until earlier this year when I went to some chrisitan counseling, due to things that were happening in my life, I discovered that while I was putting off the bad things, I was NOT putting on Christ. That is why I switched from one addicition to another. Food became one of those. Food addiction is, I believe, one of the hardest addicitions to get rid of. The reason you can't quit eating cold turkey. It is not like alcohol or drugs, where if you stop taking those altogether you will survive. One needs food to live. I have learned, through many hard lessons that Jesus is the only one that can bring me complete satisfaction, even in those times when things don't go the way I want to and I am disappointed. Food is not going to bring me the comfort He can. Sure it feels good when I am eating that bowl of ice cream or eating that chocolate but only while I am eating it. I feel horrid afterwards...bloated and lethargic. I am not saying that one should not eat those things just not everyday and everytime one goes to the store. also, when one wants to eat by themself so nobody else sees it, well that should be a big red flag to that person. (yes, i am speaking of myself) Also, another flag is throwing out the evidence before anybody else sees it. Yup, then you could say "there is a problem" So, with that being said. I will live for today. I will find so much satisfaction in Jesus that I will only eat because it gives me the fuel I need to be what God wants me to be. I will also enjoy the foods I do eat, because God does want us to enjoy ourselves and He made lots of yummy foods out there.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Facebook | Tory Kennedy: abby update

Abby is well. no real new changes. we finally got into the doctor at Nemour's. I love that place. It is about 2 hours from here in our home in Georgia. I thought that they had all the records from when we are at Arnold Palmer but noooo, that is not the case. I will be working on that today. After they get those, they will be able to schedule her surgery. It is going to be a few more weeks. One thing is scheduling. Two, is they want to look at all her workups and tests before cutting her open so they can see it first hand and not just go by what somebody is telling them. THree, her doctor wants to talk to the surgeons and see who has done is it laproscopically which would be ideal. He also wants to see who has had the best and and most experience with this surgery. All the surgeons here are new...been practicing 3-4 years. Did i mention achalasia is very rare, especially, in children. So needless to say we are making another round of surgeons as excited as a preteen at a Jonas Brothers concert. THis however does not excite me in the least. I am constantly reminding myself that God is in control and He has this. He knows the outcome. He has got my back and my kid's back and worrying about it is just me trying to be "god" and not trusting Him that he actually does love and care for Abby more than I ever could possibly do.

I really love her new doctor, Dr Evans. He assured me that he would make sure he would research all the ped surgeons and get us the most experienced one. So with that being said we will be seeing him in 4 weeks. The only thing that we are doing differently with her eating is she is not allowed to eat anything within 2 hours of bedtime. The reason. If she eats before bed then all her food just sits in her esophagus just moving up and down and this could cause lung problems. This is not only bad infection wise but would make the anestheiologist not very happy if she is not breathing properly come time for surgery.

Here is what I want prayer for.

Complete healing before surgery begins. I still serve a God that does miracles and am choosing to believe that He still will. However, it is His will, not mine. COmplete healing before may not be the answer to our prayer but I am choosing to believe and pray that boldly

for abby to have peace and trust in God that she is going to be ok. that she does not need to fear surgery. That God would use this time to bring her to a closer relationship with Him and see Him in ways she never otherwise would. That she would be comforted when she gets angry, stomps her feet, cries, because she cant eat all her favorite foods. Believe me I want to do all those too. I do, just mostly in my head.

For us, to continue to believe that God is in control. To seek Him in all decisions we make with this. To not trust human knowledge more than God knowledge. to accept whatever the plan is even if we think it sucks and is not what we want. To live completely and 100% by faith and trust in Him to meet our needs (I say needs not what I want or what I think a need is)

that the other two will be sympathetic to their sister and not be whiny when I allow Abby to have ice cream more than them. that they would not blame her for it being what they think is unfair. that they would just love her and comfort her through this.