Wednesday, December 21, 2011

when one gets too busy

I have been for months now juggling too many things.  the things and people that are most important moved down on priorities.  It is caused me too be ineffective as a mom and wife the way I know I am supposed to be.  I commend mom's who work outside the home and still are able to keep the household going without mental breakdowns.  I have discovered I can't.  This is about me and not anybody else.  I personally can not work from home or outside the home and not get overwhelmed.  I have had to take a step back from the crocheting business.  Trying to take care of a baby, moderate preteen drama, home school, school for me, crochet hundreds of hats, take care and maintain the house became way too overwhelming.  I stopped doing my schoolwork and stopped running.  My house became a cluttered mess.  I rarely left.  I went to bed too late and had to get up early. It finally caught up with and had a mental breakdown in my kitchen.  My husband is wonderful.  He helps me all the time.  For me though I am type A so if I cant do all that I want to perfectly than I cant handle it.  So it was a good lesson to step back and realize what the priorities are and step back.  I have learned I can't work from home.  It becomes all I think about and becomes the number one priority.  It is just how I am .  I t was like that when I did another home based business for seven years.  If I did not home school it probably would be different but I know that is what I am supposed to do.  I also am not saying I don't work from home.  I do everyday in maintaining my household and teaching my children Mon -Fri.  I want to do more projects with them.  I want to get up early and go to bed early so we can start our day with good energy and on time.  I want school to not become tedious and boring.  Next year we may be doing different curriculum altogether to help me with this.  It was a lesson I have learned from.  I now know I can only do so much and can't do it all, even though I want to.  I am not quitting crocheting but it is going to slow way down.  When I am done with school I may pick it back up but I have to make sure that I prioritize correctly.  I am just glad the lesson was learned quickly instead of my stubbornness making it drag out forever.

Monday, December 12, 2011

disclaimer on my blog

SO here is a disclaimer about my blog before people think I will only allow commetns that agree with my point of view.

1.  Comments are welcome.  Even when you disagree.

2.  Comments are moderated and get approved by me before being publicly seen.

3.  they are moderated because I want to make sure nothing offensive gets on here.

4.  If you want disagree, do so tastefully.  Offensive language and trying to start argument will lead to deletion of comments.

5.  trying to start an argument and engaging in a battle of wits unarmed will lead to deletion.

6.  being offensive and trying to insult my intelligence by disagreeing like a three old while remaining anonymous makes me refer to #4 and #5.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

some things meant to be funny just are not

so there is this picture going around the internet that is meant to be a joke.  I personally think it is not funny.  I think for the people in the picture it is embarrassing and mortifying.  I am sure when they took the picture, they had no idea that this would be happening.  I am sure the person who started it meant it to be a funny joke and did not intend to hurt anybody in it.  That is what happens though when people don't think about how it will affect other people before doing something.  I don't feel I am being too sensitive in this.  Most know, I have a great sense of humor.  I have a sarcastic side.  I can take a joke.  Here is the picture:

two friends at a party take an innocent picture.  Some insensitive moron probably found it on a google search because when you post public images they can be found and be photo shopped with captions.  Insensitive moron posts the picture to be funny and now it is going all over the internet.  Lets put ourselves in these two women's shoes.  

The woman who is overweight:  I am sure she deals with what people see her as on a daily basis.  The stereotypes, the looks, wondering what people think that don't even know her.  Taking a picture when she probably hates any picture taken from the neck down because of how it will be perceived.   Dealing with jokes that are hurtful, like this one.  Those of us that are overweight can tell you what a struggle it is.  You want to get all the cute clothes. You want to get out there and have fun and be the life of the party but instead you sit in the background and don't want to draw attention to yourself because of the weight issue.  So now this woman has to see this probably posted all over the place and probably smiles and brushes it off like it is no big deal, but in her room, she cries.  She is mortified at how cruel people can be.  She probably wants to hide and not come out.  But she cant.  

the woman behind her:  I am sure she is mortified as well.  I am sure she had no intention of wanting to look naked in a picture.  Now she is embarrassed and wonders if people are envisioning her with no clothes all the time.  If there are perves out there looking at her in the picture and doing things in front on the computer like when they look at porn.  that people now have a visual in there head of something that was never intended and if she could take the moment back, she would stand next to her friend.   I am sure her heart breaks for her friend as well who has been made fun of because of her physical appearance.  I wonder how long she will  have to mentally gear up to go out before she feels like people are not looking at her and feel they are giggling behind her back.

It is so hard to move on from being made fun of or cruel jokes.  I still deal with the repercussions of that as a child.  Kids are mean.  As adults when it happens, however, we are supposed to just suck it up and deal with it.  It is a joke however.   Put yourself in the person's place that the joke is made about.   Probably not so funny then.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

December happiness....

Oh I love this time of year!!!  It is my favorite.  If I had a choice I would have it be all year.  It brings my heart happiness.  I love the smells, the traditions, decorations, and limited time things that come with it.  There are holiday body washes, holiday coffees, holiday teas, and holiday goodies.  There is music that just brings back childhood memories.  There are smells that remind you of innocence before you became an adult and had to deal with the other side of how it all comes together.   I think that is why us adults just love it.  It helps to relive that time of innocence and carefree feeling that we don't get to experience very often.  There is family to enjoy and good food to eat that only gets made at this time of year.  I mean seriously,  why do we only have green bean casserole on Thanksgiving and Christmas?  trust me, if you had it the way I or my husband makes it it would be sold in National restaurant chains on a weekly basis. I get to relive the joys of childhood by watching my children  help decorate the tree, experience family get togethers, and look at lights in the neighborhoods.  We even like the idea of Santa.  Even though we have told are children the truth all along, we still would go see Santa and take pictures.  They like to pretend and write him letters.  They like to bake cookies and pretend we are going to leave them out.  It is just plain fun.   We adults lose this.  This is why I think we get all decked out and "obsessed" with Christmas things.  We want it back.  For me I don't want it to end and for years the day after Christmas brings me into a slight state of depression. It means it is over.  soon the decorations come down and we go back to everyday living.  Then I jump right back into enjoying it Dec 27th.  I look forward to the new year and new opportunities.  I get to look forward to the day after Thanksgiving when we start the Christmas decorating and can have radio stations tuned into Christmas music all the time.  I get to be thankful for the celebration of birth of the person who changed my life in 1997.  Jesus. He is the best Christmas present of all.

CHristmas 2010.  this will be a tradition I will do every year