The Guernsey Litereary and potato peel pie society

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie SocietyIt is truly sad that I have not blogged in such a long time.  As a matter of fact, it has been so long that for a brief moment in time I forgot my log in information.  This is something I plan to remedy and plan to blog more often.  Especially with the many changes that will be happening in the coming months.  The hubby will be deploying, however for security reasons I will not say when or where and if you must know then email me and if I know you, then I will tell you.  My friend Dana started an  online book club through Facebook and for the first book was the one in the title of this blog. I had never heard of it and was skeptical.  The title alone intrigued me. However, it took me a little bit to like it.  I am not a "read a book that is written as a diary of letters" type.  However, this has turned into my favorite book.  I know I will read it again.  It is historical fiction and a love story at the same time.  It was enjoyable to become part of the lives of characters and feel like  I was actually there.  I laughed and cried.  I related well to the main character, Juliet.  I am so much like her.  It really is highly recommended to read.  I still will be getting back to my list of  "100 best novels"  As for now, because I want to see the movie and my type A personality of sticking to my rule of "read the book, then watch the movie", I will be reading "The Time Travelers Wife"    I will update seperately on life here at Fort Stewart, which I can honestly say is well.

this week

I am copying the emails I sent out to give the full picture of what we have been dealing with the past week.  The hospital we were at did not have wireless internet nor did it allow me to access my blog on the computer available.  So here is insight to my life the past seven days:
MOnday evening
This has been not only a ver ytiring experience it has been the worst experience ever. She is so much pain. They are giving her morphine but it still hurts. I never imagined that I would have to see my child go through this. We had to go down to do a swallow test this afternoon, which did not go well and she will be going back down tomorrow. I have decided that I will not go with her in the hopes that me not being there, she will be more compliant.



She has been on oxygen but seems to be breathing better that she has not needed it for now. She also has decided to use me as her "mental punching bag" I am the closest to her and she has decided to take her anger out on me for the most part. (lots of yelling, dirty looks, and statements such as "I don't trust you") This has been one of the hardest things to deal with and also the fact that I can't help her feel better. There have been lots of tears and prayers. I did talk to her this afternoon to let her know that i know she is in pain and angry but it still does not give her the right to disrespect me and other adults and let her know she was being very hurtful in the things she says. She has apologized profusely and seems to be better.






Pray for strength for me. I am emotionally drained at the moment.
Wed
Abby is doing much much better. They have changed her pain meds from Morphine to an ibuprofen type every six hours. She actually slept almost all night, only woke up once to go to the bathroom. SHe sat up by herself and and almost got out of bed by herself. She is also much nicer not being on the morphine. I think the morphine made her personality change slightly. She was just plain nasty to be around on that. She hated everybody. AS I said in my previous email, she was very disrespectful to all adults. SHe said after her swallow tests "these doctors are stupid. they don't know anything." and looked at me and said "you are so mean. who are you? you are not my mother." (you must add some drama to the last one to get the full picture) The phrase "oh my God" was used a lot which is something we do not ever let our children say just to say it. (I just pretended like she was crying out to God at the point and telling her not to in her state would have been pointless and she probably does not remember saying it anyway) SHe also would look at herself in the mirror everytime she got up to go to the bathroom and say "I look hideous." because she did not want to wear a shirt because it irritated her stomach. THis was very heartbreaking and reassured her she was beautiful. She also said "I look like a potato chip" (which made me laugh because she still had the iodine stain on her belly from surgery so her tummy has an orange color)



Today DOug is here and will be a much better day. She has another swallow test today. THis should go much better due to the meds change and I have decided to not go down while she does, in the hopes that she will do much better without me there. (kind of like the same concept as to why I don't want to teach my children at church. They do much better when I am not teaching them there.) going to go get some coffee...I need it.
today
SHe is now eating!!! SHe is on a liquid diet...not just clear liquids, so she can have ice cream, chocolate milk, pudding, soups etc etc etc. the swallow test went well. Hopefully go home tomorrow but it may be Friday
we might get to leave today as long as she is able to eat without any pain. I am thinking we will because she has been doing great. they are taking her off her IV nutrition and she is still on liquids. SHe is also in a much better mood and we have been more on top of her being respectful. SHe has all her stuffed animals on a shelf and can earn them back a few at a time. She needs to say please , yes maam, no maam, and actually speak to the adults when they come in the room when they speak to her. She said "do you think you need to teach me manners..I did not forget them" which I said, "apparently you did, since you want to yell and whine and demand everything" (she has regressed toacting like a three year old) After the taking away of the stuffed animals she improved greatly...especially when I threatened that the panda would go to if she kept it up. (she has a stuffed panda that is with her always everywhere and traumatic if it gets lost) more updates will follow
 
We are now at my mother n law's and she is doing well.  BAck to her happy self.  SHe is very happy to eat without being attached to an IV pole.  SHe is walking around and able to get up and down from a sitting position without help.  She is just mildly uncomfortable.  The doctor has said she can have crab starting Monday and she is ecstatic since that is her favorite food on the planet.  THis has definitely been quite an experience.  SHe will never have a normal esophagus and needs the aid of gravity for everything to move to her stomach so she must eat or stand to eat and then be sitting or standing for about 15 min afterwards.   I will also continuie to not let her eat two hours before bedtime. 
 
God is still in control and has kept me from losing it and having a nervous breakdown through all of this.

solving a problem through wisdom

so I have been praying for wisdom in more ways to be effective in disciplining and getting the girls to do their chores.  the bible says if we ask for wisdom, we will get it.  I also think that we need to be willing to become humble to actually listen, to know what the wisdom is.  It may be what we do not want to hear or what we are not willing to do because of pride.  So with that being said:

My kids will earn an allowance through chores.  I have listened to lots of feedback.  Some say it is not good to pay kids for things they should already be doing.  Here are my thoughts.  Chores are work.  When we go to work as adults,  we get a paycheck.  Based on our performance and more responsibility, we get a raise.  I believe it is a good way to teach children good work ethics.   AKA: that you do not get money just because or that you can just be lazy and expect the same as everybody else.

Each of my children are different ages so each one will have a different amount of allowance.   This being because the older they get, the more they can do, and should be rewarded for such.   With that being said, they will each have a chore chart based on a points system.

They get one point for each chore.   Each child has 7 chores.  (the chores range from brushing hair and teeth to doing laundry and washing dishes)  they get one point for each chore done completely, 1/2 a point for each chore done partly, no points if it does not get done at all or when I ask them to.  They will get two points if they do each chore without me having to ask or remind them.  they will get 7-14 points total per day. 
49 points gets them their full earned allowance
25-49 points gets them half their allowance
16-25 gets them 1/3 of their allowance
0-16 equals no allowance

if they earn 75-98 (10 -14 points per day) points they will get an extra special privelege as well
some things are 30 min later bedtime on the weekends, prize from the treasure box, be able to ride bike further up the street, or special outing with mommy or Daddy.  they can pick one special privelege a week.  They have to earn the full 98 points to do so.  (the 75-98 points is them doing most of their chores everyday without me having to ask)  Each special privelege will have a point value attached to it.  They will start fresh each week.  I will not be allowing carry overs or stashing points.  This will prevent the thought process  of "well I earned this much this week, so I only need to earn this much this week."

Now I need to get a treasure box and find some great thrift stores, Big lots, and clearance racks to fill it with.  This will also give me more freedom throughout the day to do things I have not been able to because I am doing all the cleaning.   This is my reward for years of raising youg children and molding them into what God wants them to be.  Parenting is hard.  It does get easier the older they get, but you get different challenges along the way.  I never believed it would get easier with three toddlers/babies.  But I can testify, it does. 

link for chore chart
link for chore chart