determination

so to say the least I have been eating whatever I want (I need to remember I am not 15 anymore) and not really caring about being healthy, which then leads to me wondering why I am so tired all the time. It is not a problem for me to nap in the afternoon and sleep 12 hours. there are so many factors that contribute.

1. I am a night owl. I will stay up until 12:00-1:00 with no problem and then attempt to get up at 7:00. This is just too late and I need to make sure I go to bed by 10:30. I will be starting that tonight. Plus, it will cut out the late night ice cream eating fests.
   I have been skipping meals. This is not a conscious effort. It is a bad a..habit I just got into by doing housework instead and the next thing I know it is 3:00 in the afternoon and I eat the rest of the day and night. not a good combination. I am determined to eat things "God made" either out of the ground or chicken and fish. I will mostly be vegetarian (I am not joining Peta and going to start wearing long skirts beating a tambourine. There is also not a shortage on chickens or fish) I am going to be reading the "blood type diet" and red meat is a big "no no" for my blood type. (which is difficult because being Irish I am a meat and potatoes girl) I am mostly going to be vegetarian for health reasons and I am tired of feeling like a slug. SO needless to say I am going to be very cranky, agitated, and not fun to live with for a week or so. Sugar is as addictive as any drug and when you get off of it, it is not pretty. Pray for strength..I am very very weak when it comes to this. (Pray for my husband to not want to move in with Orlando our roommate outback in the apartment for the next two weeks while I have horns and a pitchfork acting like I am from the abyss and thinking that he should go through what I go through he he he)
   I am overweight. according to the new government guidelines (which if you know me know how I feel about that) I am borderline obese. please people stop saying "no you are not"
2. I am not blind and I am a size 16. The next size of clothing is "plus size". For those of you that know my kids. I am actually shaped like my oldest daughter. (I should show you pictures when I was kid..scary how much she looks like me) Actually I was much tinier than her. I scared my parents and my mom thought I was anorexic at 7. Actually, I wasn't I just was not hungry seriously, I ate when I was hungry. (Friends were way more important than food) I really should go back to that. Although I don't want to look like when I was 7. People thought I needed to be on a postcard for "FEED THE HUNGRY" I have just hid it well. Now before you start commenting: I REALIZE THAT I HAVE HAD THREE CHILDREN AND WILL NOT EVER GET TO LOOK LIKE I DID BEFORE I HAD THEM However, I know what my "natural" shape is and I have let "stress" and "depression" affect the way I look. Food has become my comfort and I don't want to do that anymore. I will not be obsessed with getting down to pre -baby weight (which by the way was still 20 pounds overweight) but I am setting little goals at a time. my first goal is to lose 10% of my body weight which right now 18.5 pounds (and now the whole world knows what I weigh) I also believe that 10 %is in my chest area and I am very happy to lose it there..."BIG BOOBIES ARE NOT ALL THEY ARE CRACKED UP TO BE SO DON"T BELIEVE THE HYPE" (I hate you if you can wear a shirt without a bra or the shirts that have the bra in them)
   
3. The most important thing is God wants me to be healthy. I am supposed to live for him and my body is his temple. (Last time I checked, his temple was not made from ice cream, cookies and candy bars) I believe I am quenching His spirit when I don't take care of myself. That is really why I want to be healthier. All will fall into place when I focus on Him.

sending out some love

So I just have to say that I have the best sister n law in the entire world. She is more of a real sister to me. She will take my kids anytime and even offers to have them all the spend the night sometimes. As A matter of fact tonight is one of those nights!! Woo HOO! I get a big date night with my husband!!! We are going to a wedding. I don't have to rush to get home or pick them up. She and her husband will rearrange plans just to help us out anytime I ask. She has also been there for me through some rough times and has always had great words of wisdom. There I have said it. Now the whole world knows how wonderful Barb is (as if those who don't read this don't already know that!) I love her I love her! I love her. You are beautiful inside and out!! Don't ever forget it!!! XOXOXOXOXO

So, I am sitting here at my desk after going on a show observation. (For those that don't speak "Partylite" it is where I as a consultant go and observe anothere consultant's show to get some extra training and fresh ideas) I decided to blog before I start to get lots of comments on my profile update. I got some tragic news today about a friend of mine whose eight year old daughter died today in a tragic 4 wheeler accident. Being that I have an eight year old, my heart just aches and aches for her and can not even imagine what she is going through. I just begin to think to myself how would I handle this if it were me? She seems so strong to me. It happened this morning and she just held her for hours and finally had the strength to leave and let what needed to be done get done. I believe I would need to be sedated and be pryed from my daughter's body. I do know that my daughter would be in a much better place and be having the best time ever in heaven and it would be just her body. I would just be feeling and thinking with every fibre in my being: "This is the last time I get to hold her. This is the last time I get to smell her. This is the last time I get to cuddle her. This is the last time I get to rock her. This is the last time I get to kiss her sweet , beauiful face. This is the last time I get stroke her hair." However, this is because I am thinking on this earthly, human level. If I actually really truly think about it...."I get to spend eternity being held in Jesus' arms with her, I will get to spend forever taking in the sweet aroma of Jesus with her, I get to spend forever dancing in the streets of heaven with her, I get to spend eternity forever with her sweet, beautiful face. When I think on that level, I have so much hope in knowing that any pain I suffer here, no matter how much I think it will be unbearable, He will get me through it to the other side where there is no pain.

Mercy Me Lyrics