my thoughts

my journal entry from Fat Secret:


I grew up as one of those kids who never had to worry about gaining weight. I could eat whatever and whenever. Then I had some life issues happen in my twenties where I was searching for what would satisfy me. Little did I know that the answer was right there knocking at my door, I just refused to open it to Jesus. So I turned to drugs, alcohol, and boys. I also was smoking cigarettes at the time. Well, when I gave my life to Christ I gave up all those things but instead of focusing on Him to meet my needs I turned to food. I ate all the time. This caused me to gain about 3o pounds. Then when I got married, I had kids I gained the 30 pounds you need to gain while pregnant but never lost it with any of my three children. It was not until earlier this year when I went to some chrisitan counseling, due to things that were happening in my life, I discovered that while I was putting off the bad things, I was NOT putting on Christ. That is why I switched from one addicition to another. Food became one of those. Food addiction is, I believe, one of the hardest addicitions to get rid of. The reason you can't quit eating cold turkey. It is not like alcohol or drugs, where if you stop taking those altogether you will survive. One needs food to live. I have learned, through many hard lessons that Jesus is the only one that can bring me complete satisfaction, even in those times when things don't go the way I want to and I am disappointed. Food is not going to bring me the comfort He can. Sure it feels good when I am eating that bowl of ice cream or eating that chocolate but only while I am eating it. I feel horrid afterwards...bloated and lethargic. I am not saying that one should not eat those things just not everyday and everytime one goes to the store. also, when one wants to eat by themself so nobody else sees it, well that should be a big red flag to that person. (yes, i am speaking of myself) Also, another flag is throwing out the evidence before anybody else sees it. Yup, then you could say "there is a problem" So, with that being said. I will live for today. I will find so much satisfaction in Jesus that I will only eat because it gives me the fuel I need to be what God wants me to be. I will also enjoy the foods I do eat, because God does want us to enjoy ourselves and He made lots of yummy foods out there.