Thursday, August 23, 2012

undone

I have become undone.....completely and totally undone.  It is like I have been wrapped in a safe cocoon and just bounced around.  If you have ever watched a butterfly emerge from its cocoon I have come undone like that.  Except it took me thirty something years to do.  So I hung on by what looks like a fine thread and just wriggled around until I broke free for years.  something beautiful and wonderful emerged.  Everybody else could see the beauty,  I could not until I broke free.  I broke free from the codependence.  Something I did not even realize I was until a month ago.   Every single stinkin characteristic.  I now am actively shedding every single stinkin characteristic.   See, I never thought I was.  I had the wrong definition.  It was my defense mechanism.  It was a learned behavior.  I am now having to unlearn it.   Doing so has transformed my life.  It has transformed my marriage.  It is transforming my children.  I have broken the ugly dirty cycle that by God's grace will end and not continue through generation after generation.   God has been glorified amazingly.  There are no other explanations as to how we have all broken free.

A marriage has been restored when it seemed hopeless

There is peace where there was none.

There is no longer the yelling and screaming because of the trying to control every single aspect in my house

There is trust in God when there are things needed that I know will be supplied...eventually.

There are no panic moments with the previous statement as to me trying to make it happen.

There are things that I have let go of and am willing to start new adventures with

My girls are being allowed to flourish and blossom without me holding them back anymore.

My husband and I are in a new phase of getting to know our new selves and trusting each other to be real with each other.

My house is a happier place to be in.

I am trusting and being more positive daily with those I interact with.

I am not perfect and make mistakes but I am willing to admit to them right away without carrying guilt around for years and years.

I am living in the freedom Christ has given me......FINALLY!!!!!

No comments: